Willpower
by lemonjelly
Summary: Carby. SIXTH AND FINAL CHAPTER IS UP trying to avoid cliches. Carter cracks under stress and things happen
1. Without A Second Thought

A/N: Well, there you go, kids. I have fallen into Carby trap and will no longer be able to write anything but Carby. Oh well, it was fun. Like a drug. Not that I've tried. Ignore me. Enjoy this. Btw, the reviews you all gave me for my previous two fanfics were really, really nice. Thanks, you really didn't need to do all that, yknow you go to hell for lying. Love LJ xXx Ps. I'm sorry that I've changed things. Is there some sort of unwritten rule saying that their first child should be a girl and that they live in an apartment? Sorry if there is because I haven't really been a Carby fanfic writer for long. Oh well, sorry if I've spoiled things.  
  
"It's your turn, John," Abby rolled over in the bed sleepily and nudged him. He looked at her blearily, his mouth hanging open. She couldn't help but laugh despite her tiredness. "Attractive," she commented and buried her face in the pillow. He was a bit disorientated for a while, blankly wondering why his wife had woken him up in the early hours of the morning. Then he became aware of the wailing of his baby son in the next room and he sighed. "No, it's not," he argued. "It's yours." Abby turned to him. "Don't argue with me, Carter," she told him with a smile on her face. "You know you'll lose." "Really?" He asked and got out of bed. "Yeah, see? You already gave in," she grinned. She sank under the sheets and tried to get some sleep. "Who's given in now?" Carter challenged her. He grabbed her and lifted her out of the bed. If he had to get up, she would have to, too. He slung her over his shoulder, pretending to be oblivious to her playful kicks and shouts, and made his way to his son, Adam's room with a smile on his face. Adam was just two weeks old, but seemed to have the lungs of someone much bigger; he wailed halfway through most nights. Contrary to the playful arguments they had each night over who would comfort their baby, the Carters didn't mind. It was after four months of sleepless nights that they did start to mind. The novelty of arguing over who would change/feed/tend to Adam, as though they were a typical couple, wore off and Carter was finding it difficult to cope. Thank God for caffeine.  
  
* * *  
  
Carter gave a long yawn and took the chart out of Susan's hand. "What?" he asked, seeing her amused expression. "Nothing," she shook her head with a smile. "Is Adam not giving you a break?" "Nope," Carter answered. "If Abby had listened to me and named him John Truman, I'm sure he'd sleep all the time." "Just like you do, you mean?" Susan replied, with a grin. Carter laughed slightly. "Yeah, I wish."  
  
* * *  
  
After six months, it became almost unbearable. Carter was ridiculously exhausted by now and even though he tried to not let it affect his performance at work, the sleep-deprivation was that had circled him like a vulture finally swooped when he was too tired to continue with compressions. The patient would've died if Jing-Mei Chen hadn't spotted this and got Luka to take over, allowing him to sneak away and crash on the sofa in the doctor's lounge. He frowned to himself as he lay, eyes closed on the comfortable couch. He felt so useless. "Do you want me to cover for you?" Carter recognised the voice but refused to open his eyes. This voice irritated him; it made his blood surge with competitiveness. He clenched his fists. "Carter?" Carter opened his eyes and unclenched his fists. This wasn't like him; this was the tiredness making him annoyed. He sighed. "No, its ok, Luka," Carter looked at the concerned face of Luka Kovac. "How's the patient?" "He's fine," Luka answered. "Are you sure you don't want to go home, you look really tired." Carter scowled. "Thanks," he snapped, sarcastically. Luka shrugged. "Ok, sorry, just trying to help you," Luka backed off and left the doctor's lounge. He felt annoyed again. So Luka thought he wasn't good enough, did he? Was he trying to faze him out, take over his job? What would he do next, steal Abby from him? This was a paranoid thought that had circled his brain forever. Usually rationality quickly pushed this thought to the back of his head again, but rationality, like most of his other senses, was asleep. What did it matter that Abby chose him? What did it matter that they were happily married with a baby? Luka wasn't fully out of the picture, he still posed a threat. Carter felt crazed with anger. He needed to prove to Luka, to everyone, that he was still good. He was still a good doctor, he was still better than Luka. He had to show him, he had to shake off his tiredness, more than anything else. And he needed to do anything to make sure he worked well.  
  
* * *  
  
Carter ran his finger down the bottles on the shelf. So many long names, so much choice. He felt like a kid in a candy store and he smiled manically. Eventually he chose a bottle and pocketed it. He took it out when he was safely locked in a cubicle in the Men's Room and surveyed his choice. He automatically turned the bottle over and read it. Dosage: take one p- Wait a minute, what did he care? He had no time for reading; he had to get back at Luka. He unscrewed the bottle and quickly swallowed four powdery white pills. He smiled to himself and put the bottle back in his pocket. Now let's see who's the better doctor. 


	2. Refuge

When Carter sailed in through the front door later that day Abby was feeding Adam and putting him to bed. "What put you in such a good mood?" she asked, noticing his broad grin. He put his arms around her waist. "Coming home to you, of course," Carter murmured in her ear. Adam drifted off to sleep in his cot and Carter began to kiss Abby's neck. "If you wake him up, you're dead," she smiled and led him out of the nursery, closing the door behind her. "I'm sorry, have I been naughty?" Carter asked her grabbing her and holding her close. Abby pulled away. "No, but you are being weird," Abby raised one eyebrow suspiciously. "What's with you today?" "Nothing, nothing at all," Carter kept approaching her and she kept backing away. "Come on, Abby. What's with you today?" Carter's behaviour was beginning to scare her as Abby kept backing away. He wasn't normally so pushy. Her back reached a wall and she began to feel panic rising in her as Carter kept advancing, with a crazed look in his eyes that she hadn't noticed before. "John?" Abby asked, her voice trembling. "Yes, honey? I'm right here," he smiled. "Carter, seriously, what's wrong with you?" He pinned her up against the wall and looked down her. Her heart beat so fast that she swore he could feel it, pressed up against her like that. As he leant down to kiss her, she ducked out from under him and he hit his head on the wall. She brushed past his leg and caused an object to fall out of his pocket. It hit the carpeted floor with a thud. Abby snatched it up, quickly. As soon as she had it in her hand she knew. "Oh Carter," Abby whispered. She looked up at him, disappointment and fear formed tears in her eyes. "Oh god. No, Carter. Please." She shook her head, not wanting to believe it. "What do you mean 'No, Carter?" He asked, turning on her, rubbing his forehead. "I'm not a damn dog." He stopped trying to seduce Abby and now felt angry at her. "Why did you take them, Carter?" She tried to keep her voice steady, but it still shook with fear and anxiety. "Cos I felt like it, ok?" he snapped. "God, you're acting like you're my mother or something. I can take care of myself, y'know, Abby." "Well obviously not if you let yourself get like this," she answered automatically and then wished she hadn't said anything. His eyes blazed in a way she had never seen before. "For God's sake, Abby," he shouted at her. "What's with the interrogation?" In the next room, Adam woke up and began to cry. Abby slipped into the next room, glad to have the distraction. She picked up the crying baby and tried to comfort him, but in a way, she was also trying to comfort herself. Carter followed her into the room. "Really, Abby, why are you being so pissed off?" he took hold of her shoulders and forced her to face him. Adam cried harder. "Please, John, you're upsetting Adam," Abby tried to calm him down. "Upsetting Adam or upsetting you?" Carter asked. Me, you're scaring me. Abby thought, but said nothing. "I'm not good enough for you, am I?" Carter snarled. "I'm never good enough." "I didn't say that, Carter," she told him, holding Adam close to her. "For God's sake," he yelled, angrily and punched at her. She ducked just in time and he hit the shelf instead. As the shelf crashed down with soft toys and picture books flying everywhere Abby took her chance to quickly leave the room. A bag with baby stuff in sat by the door, unpacked from when Adam was at day-care. She also took her handbag and made for the front door. If she didn't go now, he might seriously hurt her, or worse, hurt Adam. Carter came out of the room and saw her. "Where do you think you're going," Carter shouted at her. Abby turned and looked at him, desperately trying to calm her nerves. "Away from you, Carter," she answered and quickly went out of the door.  
  
* * *  
  
It was only when she was halfway down the road when she thought of where she might go. She was just walking, but she had nowhere to go. What if he came after her? She needed somewhere that she'd be safe. Somewhere close by. When she finally stopped to think, she realised she'd walked in the exact opposite direction if she was intending to seek refuge at Susan's or Jing-Mei's. She couldn't go back on herself, not now; she might meet Carter on the way. Her feet had automatically taken her in this direction. If Carter found out, he'd be livid. She could only walk on, go straight on. Straight on to a place where she knew she'd be safe. Luka's. 


	3. Father Figure

Adam had fallen asleep on the way over and he stirred a little when Abby knocked on Luka's door. There was no answer for a while. Perhaps he was still at the E.R. In a way, she was glad that he wasn't in. Would it seem like she was rubbing it in, showing up here with the baby that is half Carter's? Then she remembered what she was running away from. Maybe he would be glad. Oh god, what was she doing here? This was the worst place she could've subconsciously chosen. She turned to walk away down the hall when Adam woke up and whimpered slightly.  
  
"Don't cry, baby," she whispered. I'm not she thought, but I really feel like it. Luka opened the door. Who could be calling round at this time? Then he saw the figure in a black leather jacket and the baby that stared at him with wide brown eyes from over her shoulder.  
  
"Abby?" She stopped. Thank god he was in. All the doubts flew out of her brain and all she felt was relieved. She turned and looked at him.  
  
"Oh, Luka," she felt so close to tears and she dashed down the hall into his arms.  
  
* * *  
  
Carter ran down the stairs, planning to chase after her, when suddenly he felt himself take a turn for the worse. His head suddenly felt heavy and he realised what had just happened. All those paranoid thoughts he had had about Abby leaving him had come true, except Abby hadn't left him, he drove her away. What was he thinking? Now he didn't know where she was. She could be hurt and it was all his fault. He felt so stupid and so disgusted with himself for ever taking the drugs. He felt more disgusted with himself because Abby had taken the drugs with her and part of him wanted them back, too. Abby was gone. The realisation hit him like a crippling weight on his heart. His legs buckled and he leant heavily against the wall. He tried to call out, but his voice felt so thick with tears that he couldn't hurl it up his throat. Instead he just mouthed her name: "Abby, Abby" over and over as he sank down to the floor at the foot of the stairs.  
  
* * *  
  
Luka had listened without saying anything as Abby explained the situation. She sat on his sofa and rocked Adam as she spoke. She was so beautiful, but he had to stop thinking of that now. She could've been his, but he had to leave that in the past. She might have got hurt by Carter and now she was upset.  
  
"Abby, you can stay here as long as you need to," Luka told her, he turned over the bottle of pills Abby had handed him to show what Carter had taken. "I'm sure Carter will see sense soon." Abby shook her head.  
  
"So many hours of classes to give up and it's all lost in one thoughtless moment. He tried to hit me." Abby whispered. Tears flowed freely down her face and she felt glad to have someone to tell this to. Luka had been so understanding.  
  
"Don't worry, Abby," he soothed. "It'll be ok. You're tired; you need to get some rest." Abby nodded.  
  
"I'll sleep here," she patted the sofa.  
  
"Well, there's always my bed," Luka offered. Abby's expression changed to disgust and she looked up at him.  
  
"Oh for god's sake, Luka. I'm still married."she began to yell at him. How could he say something like that? Could he not see she was upset? She thought he was being caring, but clearly she got it all wrong.  
  
"Hey, hey, calm down," he held up his hands as if to show he meant no harm. "I mean, how about I sleep on the sofa so you and Adam can sleep in my bed." Abby was silent.  
  
"Oh god, I'm so sorry," she shook her head, guiltily and felt like she was going to cry again. She leant her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Luka. I thought you meant-"  
  
"Yeah I gathered that,"  
  
"But really you were being so kind. God I'm such a fool. Thank you Luka. I'm such a horrible person, jumping to conclusions."  
  
"No you're not." He stroked her hair. "You're not. Go and get some sleep. You can think about things tomorrow." Abby obediently got up to go to bed. Then she stopped, leant down and kissed him gently on the cheek.  
  
"Thank you, Luka"  
  
* * *  
  
Luka couldn't sleep. All he could think was whether or not he had done the right thing when he gave up fighting for Abby. He had resigned to the fact that Abby was destined to be with Carter and nothing he could do would stop that. Besides, she seemed so happy with him. Now it was different. Abby was far from happy, Carter could have killed her and it would have been partly his fault for not fighting for her. He got up and went to his room. For a while he watched her lying between the sheets. She seemed to have calmed down from when she had turned up, troubled and upset. He hoped he had taken good care of her, he would do anything so she'd be happy, which was why he stopped fighting for her. As he gazed at her, Adam stirred and began to whimper. Abby slid deeper into the sheets.  
  
"John? Will you get that?" she mumbled in her half-sleep. She seemed so peaceful in her sleep, as though all her troubles had left her. Luka didn't want her to wake up and have all her worries come back to her so soon. Without thinking, he went round to the other side of the bed and picked up baby Adam. He rocked him gently. He had to admit it, the baby was very cute and although he would like to have thought it was all Abby, he knew that this was half Carter, the guy he had rivalled with for ages. This baby he was now comforting was even further proof that Carter had won and he had just given up. But yet, he didn't feel angry anymore. Of course he was jealous, but now all he was concerned about was Abby's welfare. If she and Carter were meant for each other, then Luka must get them back together again. Adam fell asleep again and Luka carefully laid him on the bed beside Abby. He would look after them both until Carter got himself together.  
  
"Thanks honey," Abby muttered and Luka stopped for a moment, pretending to himself that the comment was really directed at him. Then he left the room and went to sleep. 


	4. A Bridge Between The Two

Even after Abby had showered and fed the baby, Luka was still asleep. She smiled at the sight of his feet hanging over the edge. It was so sweet of him to give up his bed for her and Adam, it's not like he could actually fit the sofa, being so tall. Then she remembered how mean and accusing she'd been the previous night. With the memories of the previous night came the recollection of the Carter incident. She sighed heavily and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast.  
  
* * *  
  
"Good morning," Luka greeted. "Did you sleep ok?" Abby looked up and smiled at him.  
  
"Yes thanks," she replied. "Adam didn't even wake up in the night, which is the first time in ages." Adam sat on his play mat on the floor occasionally making surprised noises as he explored the different functions of this mat. Abby looked at Adam and smiled at him, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.  
  
"Are you working today?" Luka asked.  
  
"Yeah, just 8-11, though," Abby answered, she looked a bit ruffled at the mention of her work.  
  
"Is Carter?"  
  
"Yes." Abby replied immediately, as though this thought had been preying on her mind for a while now.  
  
"Look, Abby, it's only 3 hours. If you're not ready to go in today, I could easily find someone to cover for you." Luka offered, although he expected determined Abby to decline. She looked at him and then back at Adam.  
  
"Well, I guess someone needs to look after Adam," she admitted. There was always day-care, they both knew that. They also knew that Abby had no problem with leaving Adam at day-care, but this was just her excuse as Abby was Abby and she didn't want to appear weak. She looked up at Luka.  
  
"Oh god, who am I kidding?" she sighed. "I'm scared Luka. I'm scared to see what state Carter is in. If he's worse, it would kill me."  
  
"It's ok, Abby," Luka nodded. "I understand. I'll call the E.R. and say that you're ill, ok?"  
  
"God, what would I do without you, Luka?" Abby toyed with the cornflakes that had been uneaten in her bowl since they were poured. She had crushed them with her spoon until now they were just a powdery mess. Then she realised what she'd been doing and put down the spoon.  
  
"I'm sorry, Luka." Luka shrugged, picked up the bowl and poured the contents into the bin.  
  
"No problem,"  
  
"Thanks so much," Luka smiled at her, feeling slightly embarrassed.  
  
"They're just cornflakes, Abby," he replied. Abby hugged him.  
  
"You know what I mean," she muttered into his shirt.  
  
* * *  
  
Carter was in the doctor's lounge staring at a blank wall. Luka said nothing when he came in. Carter looked up.  
  
"Have you seen Abby?" he asked.  
  
"She's ill," Luka answered, instantly. Carter's eyes narrowed.  
  
"How do you know?" Then he realised. "Oh Christ, she went to yours didn't she?" This was worse than he thought. Not only had he sent Abby and his son away, he sent them straight to Luka.  
  
"Carter, you can't be angry at anyone but yourself," Luka warned him. "All she did was turn up on my doorstep in tears and I couldn't turn her and Adam away."  
  
"What did you do to her?" Carter asked suspiciously. Abby and Luka spent the night together. That can't have been all, they had a history together.  
  
"I did nothing, Carter. What did you do to her?" Luka replied.  
  
"You have to let me see her." Carter demanded. "I need to see my wife and baby."  
  
"Why?" Luka challenged. "Why? Because Abby has the pills?" Carter looked stunned. How could Luka have possibly known that's how he felt last night? How could he have guessed the secret feeling Carter was most ashamed of?  
  
"I haven't taken one since yesterday. Anyway, I could have got tons more here, but I haven't," Carter told him.  
  
"Well, how do I know you're not going to go back onto them and hurt Abby again?" Luka asked him. Carter shook his head; all that Luka was saying was true. It all made sense and he wanted to prove to Luka, to himself and Abby and everyone that he could give up again.  
  
"I don't know how." He admitted.  
  
"I used to look up to you," Luka shook his head at Carter. "You could make Abby so happy and you had each other. I used to wish I could be like you, but now." Carter sank his head in his hands. Why was Luka doing this? Why was he confiding in him? How could he trust him like this when he didn't even trust himself?  
  
"Look, Carter," Luka began. "If you can spend all day in the medicine store cupboard and not take anything, then you can come with me when my shift is over and see Abby. Ok? I'll do a tox screen at the end, just to make sure." Carter nodded. It seemed fair. He'd do this. He'd show them. He'd do this for Abby.  
  
* * *  
  
"It's two o'clock. Your shift is over, you can come out now." Luka opened the door to the drug store cupboard. Carter was sat on the floor, his back pressed up hard against the wall. He stared hard at the rows of bottles and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. This was hard for him but he had to prove to Luka in one day, that he could see Abby again.  
  
"What time does your shift end?" Carter asked.  
  
"Five o'clock," Luka replied. Carter tore his eyes away from the pills that he had been intent on taunting himself with as a punishment he felt he deserved.  
  
"I'll go when you go. Then you can take me to Abby. I can do three more hours." Carter told him, firmly. Luka smiled.  
  
"I know you can." Luka answered. Carter looked back at the pills and then looked at something in his hand. He showed it to Luka. His wallet was open on a picture of him, Abby and Adam together in the park on a bright sunny day. It was the most perfect picture Luka had ever seen, the kind of thing he had always hoped for himself.  
  
"It's keeping me going." Carter explained. "Knowing what I have to lose."  
  
"You're a good guy, Carter." Luka told him, despite the fact that, a year ago, he would have never said that.  
  
"No, I'm not." Carter looked back at the picture. "You deserve Abby more than me. You were there for her when I failed her."  
  
"You could make Abby happy." Luka shook his head. "I couldn't ever do that. She looks the happiest I have ever seen her in the picture. Carter, you deserve Abby. You're meant to be together. If you're the guy I lost Abby to, then I don't mind. I really don't mind anymore." There was a short silence.  
  
"And Adam?" Carter asked.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Is Adam ok? Please don't say I hurt any of them. I have no idea what I was doing."  
  
"They're ok. Abby is just shaken but Adam is fine. He was playing on his play-mat this morning on my kitchen floor." Luka told him, with a smile. Carter smiled too at the image of his baby son in his mind, but he the expression also looked sad. He could have really hurt both of them, without knowing. He looked up at the shelves of drugs again. He needed to torture and tease himself more for it. He needed to pay himself back. 


	5. Know Your Role

"Hey Abby," Luka called when he entered the flat. Abby was sitting on the sofa, reading to Adam, who seemed to enjoy hitting the brightly coloured pictures in the book. She looked up and smiled at him. Then she saw, Carter and a range of thoughts and emotions came to her mind. The smile dropped off her face and held Adam tightly.  
  
"Hi Abby," Carter greeted, awkwardly. It hadn't been a great start; he had already wiped the smile off her face.  
  
"Abby, Carter spent all day proving himself." Luka explained. "Trust me, everything will be ok. He hasn't taken anything, even though I made him stay in the drug store cupboard all day. I even did a tox screen." Abby smiled at the idea of Carter sitting in a cupboard all day.  
  
"Oh, Carter, why did you start anyway?" Abby asked, finally. Carter sat beside her on the sofa and took her hand.  
  
"Abby, I don't know. I was stupid and tired and not thinking straight. If I had that chance again I would never have done it." Carter looked at her with wide, pleading eyes. She wanted to believe him. God, she wanted to be able to sink into his arms and cry because she had been so scared. But she was so unsure.  
  
"Carter, I-"  
  
"No, wait. I know you're going to say that you don't know if you can trust me and all I can beg is that you do. Please, Abby. I need you more than anything because I love you more than anything." Carter cut her off. Abby didn't know. Her mind was a mess and had been for the past 24 hours. She looked to Luka for assurance; he had been her rock recently.  
  
"Go ahead, Abby. It's all ok." Luka nodded. Why did he have to be the good guy? He loved Abby still and he could've seized the chance to take her. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself attempt to be something he was not. He was not Carter. He was not Abby's soul mate or Adam's father. He was just there for her, and that was all he could offer. Adam looked up at his dad and offered him the book.  
  
"Hey, thanks little guy," Carter smiled at him and took the book. How could he ever explain to him how much that meant to him?  
  
"Carter," Abby began. Both Adam and Luka obviously thought Carter was safe. Did she? "John, let's go home." Carter smiled, relieved.  
  
"God, I love you so much. I'm so sorry." Carter whispered as he hugged her.  
  
"Let me just get my stuff," Abby told him and she went and fetched her hand bag and Adam's bag.  
  
"Come on, then, honey," Carter said, when she returned.  
  
"Wait a second," Abby turned to Luka. "Thanks for everything, Luka." She hugged him and kissed his cheek. Carter smiled at Luka, when normally he would have been insane with jealousy. Luka was a good guy.  
  
"Thanks, Luka." Carter smiled and they left together. Luka closed the flat door after them. Every sound he made in the flat seemed to echo in the emptiness and bounce back at him from lonely walls. He missed Abby, but he was who he was. Just a friend. 


	6. My Life Support

Carter and Abby stood in the nursery as Adam drifted off to sleep in his cot. The shelf with books and toys still lay in destruction on the floor.  
  
"Did I do that?" Carter whispered as they left the room quietly. They made their way downstairs and sat on the sofa.  
  
"Well, you were actually aiming for me, but I ducked." Abby replied, with a half smile. Carter looked down.  
  
"Oh, god I'm so sorry. I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked.  
  
"No, but you scared me." Abby told him.  
  
"And how about Adam?" Carter asked, anxiously. Abby laughed a hollow laugh.  
  
"He seems unaffected by the whole thing."  
  
"I had no excuse to act the way I did."  
  
"Are you really over it?" Abby asked.  
  
"I think so, but I guess that really isn't good enough." Carter sighed.  
  
"Last time it took years of classes." Abby reminded him.  
  
"I didn't have you that time," Carter replied. "I sat in the drug store cupboard all day and I had this picture of you and Adam." He took out his wallet and showed her. She looked so happy in the picture; she wished she had the simplicity of life then. It was only two months ago.  
  
"I could do it again. I could do anything for you. All I need is you. You're my strength, Abby. You keep me going. You can't leave me, please don't leave me." Carter began to get fearful and tears fell freely from his eyes. He already felt like a failure and could not find the effort to stop the tears. He leant against her and cried into her shoulder. She wished he hadn't said that. She wished it were the days when he was her strength. She wanted to be the one sobbing in his arms, but he needed her now. Why did she have to be so attracted to him? He needed to learn. He needed to learn. Damn love. Damn her love for him. She needed to be harsher, just to teach him.  
  
"Oh, John," she relented. "I won't leave you, honey. I won't leave."  
  
"Abby, I need you. You're my life support. I wouldn't be able to make it through without you." She wished she was the one saying all this but she knew that in order for him to be her strength, she needed to help him recover. He looked up at her with helpless eyes. His mind was a mess; all he knew was that he needed Abby. Abby would make it all better. She was the only thing that shone in his mind when everything else was lost in a fog of confusion.  
  
"It's ok now. It'll be ok," she held cradled his head in her arms and held it against her, as though he was a little boy and in many ways, he was.  
  
"All the time I was giving it up again, it was just withdrawal symptoms from you. Promise me you'll never leave me, even though I'm a horrible and weak person."  
  
"You're not horrible, honey. You're not weak." He felt her throat vibrate smoothly on his forehead as he talked. He felt her chin on the top of his head and he closed his eyes. She said exactly what he wanted to hear but it only made him feel guiltier. How could he have done this to her? She was so perfect and caring and wonderful. How could he have tried to hurt her?  
  
"Promise me you won't leave me." Abby put her arms around him and stroked his hair gently as she rocked him, like a baby.  
  
"Honey," she whispered, as he began to fall asleep. "I'm not going anywhere." 


End file.
